To shake with

I have been finding compassion incredibly difficult to talk about, and even more so to teach.

In class we’ve been exploring the qualities of the heart from the perspective of Chinese Medicine, where the heart is considered our sovereign. The heart is a just and equitable leader. One that can navigate both joy and sadness at the same time, expressing a balance of strength, openness, clarity and compassion. Feeling it all.

While the qualities of strength, openness and clarity feel succinct to apply to both physical asana and our more energetic experience, I’ve struggled to talk about compassion with the depth it deserves.

I heard a wonderful definition of compassion that has stuck with me - to shake with. So very visceral and completely resonant with the embodied feeling of opening to sensitivity. Acknowledging the pains and sorrows of others, and feeling it to the point where you can’t help but be moved yourself. A part of compassion is also the desire to do something about this sorrow. Compassion is active.

I’ve stopped reading the news. There is too much horror to shake with. Too many simultaneous atrocities that go against everything this practice teaches on presence, connection and integration. Too many leaders without the just and balanced qualities found in the heart. There is so much more than our nervous system has developed to process and only so much we can do in this global context to act on the compassion we feel.

While I feel incredible gratitude for the life I get to live - which is thankfully comfortable, safe and supportive, I feel guilt for not doing enough to help others who do not have a safe home too. I feel guilt for not saying enough. I’ve had moments of doubt around this practice, questioning the ripple effects we teach that don’t ripple far enough to stop ongoing war and genocide.

I believe that yoga as an experience of presence and connection has always existed, even when it has been unnamed. Alongside this practice of connection, destruction and sorrow has always existed too. 

In the opening chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, the just leader Arjuna turns to Krishna in a moment of crisis on the battlefield. 

“O Krishna, my limbs fail me, my mouth is parched, my body is shaking and my hair stands on end seeing my relatives here and anxious to fight.” Bhagavad Gita, 1.28-29, Translated by Sri Swami Satchidananda

He describes a bodily reaction in the face of conflict. Quite literally shaking with compassion for the opposition in battle.

Later in the Gita, Krishna reveals his cosmic form to Arjuna. It begins with lengthy descriptions of wonder:

“Everywhere, everywhere millions of faces, eyes seeing everything, countless mouths all speaking wonders; and visions too numerous to describe …

… Clothed in mantles of light and garlands of blossoming heavens - the infinite, wondrous and resplendent One - facing everywhere simultaneously. In the presence of divinity an indescribable fragrance.” Bhagavad Gita, 11.10-12, Translated by Sri Swami Satchidananda

The blossoming vision soon turns to overwhelm as Arjuna begins to see the dark alongside the light:

“Lord, I too am shaking.

Seeing you like this - taller than the sky, your mouths open and blazing while waves of colour emanate from you, and your eyes, everywhere, burning into me like fire - my heart is pounding with fear.” Bhagavad Gita, 11.23-24, Translated by Sri Swami Satchidananda

In times of overwhelm, I am reminded of Arjuna. Knowing we can shake with compassion for all that is wrong whilst still sitting with the beauty and fullness life we can observe and feel at the very same time.

When there is this much to shake with, I’m finding it helpful to come back to the smaller places where we can give compassion. 

To ourselves: by acknowledging how difficult this is to process. By being soft on ourselves when it feels hard to articulate how we feel. To know that guilt is a natural response to self awareness. To not forget the things that are beautiful and joyful even as we sit with collective heartbreak. 

To others: by donating when we can. By listening to and supporting others. Through the ways we can weave small acts of compassion into the fabric of our communities.

I do believe that we are all carriers of kindness waiting to ripple out into the world. This can be hard to see when we shake with so much sadness, but it’s not forgotten.